Get well soon, Charlie Davies

Get well soon, Charlie Davies

Thursday, December 4, 2008

BU Hatred Week: Part 2 - The River Hawk Hockey Blog

In Part 2 of my efforts to ramp up the hate in preparation for this weekend's epic tilt between Boston College and Boston University, I present to you a lovely little number penned by the guys over at the River Hawk Hockey Blog prior to the BU-UML Hockey East playoff series this past spring.

"It’s time for playoff hockey, and that means it’s time to throw rational, fact-driven commentary out the window.

Instead of the usual Wednesday feature (the only occasionally amusing USCHOmbudsman), we present to you now a positively Orwellian exercise in general dislike: "The Two Minutes' Hate."

Hate is a strong word, and we only wish there was a stronger one that we could put into blog-appropriate vernacular. There’s something about an arena full of 6,300 sniveling fans, all dressed in crimson and white wishing it was maroon and gold that we just loathe.

Next to Scumherst, BU has by far the largest collection of meathead college-boy fans in Hockey East. The majority of these knuckledraggers would be lugging shingles up a ladder if daddy didn’t have the cash to get them into a school that would accept a corpse if the check cleared.

Never has there been a bigger group of fanboys than the face-painting, costume-wearing mutants at BU. When you have a fat loser that wears a sequined cowboy hat to every game, and he's one of the tamer specimens, then your fanbase is a problem. There are hot dog costumes (with ever-changing toppings), Jesus costumes, guys wearing goalie masks, middle-aged hairy men that take their shirts off at the slightest provocation, face painting fat girls, some tall creep with a beard, and that's just two rows of section 118. We wish we were kidding.

Perhaps the worst part, and there’s evidently so much to detest, is their insufferable inferiority complex to the Gold Standard of colleges up the road. The very fact that the big “cheer” these missing links love so much boils down to “BC sucks,” and that they continue to remind you of this fact, regardless of who they’re playing, speaks volumes.

We get it, you’re mad that you’ve been relegated to your third-choice school (Northeastern was full up too) and you need to vent your frustrations. We don’t blame you; we certainly wouldn’t want to be associated with the terrier either. But it’s not our fault you were 1,000 SAT points and the ability to speak like a human being shy of being admitted to BC. Enough already.
We also have a general distaste for Agganis Arena.

First and foremost, because of the namesake. Know who was a "Golden Greek?" Achilles. That's who. Harry Agganis played two years for the Red Sox (wow, a .261 career average!) and was a football washout. Sure, he made the so-called "College Football Hall of Fame" (it's more of a broom closet, really), but they'll let in just about anyone. Case in point: O.J. Simpson. So yeah, your greatest all-time athlete is the peer of a double murderer. Congratulations. When are you building Ted Bundy Stadium?

Second, Agganis is just as revolting on the inside as Walter Brown Arena ever was. Sure, it has a flashy video board (probably stolen), but it’s still not as good as the Whitt or Tsongas Arena because the powers that be decided to put so many luxury boxes in that you can’t see the ice from the concourse.

We know it came in handy when that traitor to all things Boston, Ray Bourque, came to watch his developmentally disabled son for the one season they snuck him through remedial math (presumably so he didn't have to mingle with the great unwashed that regularly attend BU games), but it’d be nice to watch the action while we’re waiting to be gouged on overpriced, mediocre nachos. And we're sure that the braintrust over on Comm Ave is hard at work trying to figure out just how to infuse the whole rink with that WBA urine stench that everyone came to love so much.

Then there's BU's players, speaking of unwashed. Here's a school so devoid of anyone better to whom to give scholarships that they floated one to Eric Gryba, or if you prefer, Karson Gillespie. One which had three captains that were such reprehensible human beings that Jack Parker suspended them (and another player) and stripped them of the little letters on the front of their shirts then gave them back. One which was collectively on the brink of tears when a few of its players were brutally beaten up last year (actually tragic), but stood by John Sabo when he nearly killed someone in a similar fashion. If Maine wasn't so infested with (alleged) pedophiles, academic frauds, and sexual harassers, BU would take the cake for giving scholarships to and tolerating the worst people in Hockey East.

And to give you an idea of how bad the recruiting is at BU, the best two players the Terriers have had in the last five years, John Curry and Matt Gilroy (we call him Girl-roy haw haw haw), are walk-ons that Parker was lucky enough to have drop in his lap.

We find it odd that they named it "Jack Parker rink at Agganis Arena," though. Rinks are usually named after parties that played a big role in the program's development and are deceased. By that token, we would have named it "Jack Parker's Career rink."

Go 'Hawks. Beat BU."

No comments:

The Trophy Case: BC's honors during my years at school

  • Men's Basketball
  • 2006 - Commonwealth Classic Winner
  • 2008 - Commonwealth Classic Winner
  • Women's Basketball
  • 2008 - Caribbean Challenge Winners
  • 2008 - Blue Sky Classic Winners
  • Sailing:
  • 2008 - ICSA Women's National Champions
  • 2008 - ICSA Co-Ed National Champions
  • Football:
  • 2006 - Meineke Car Care Bowl Winner
  • 2007 - Ireland Trophy
  • 2007 - ACC Atlantic Division Champions
  • 2007 - Champs Sports Bowl Winner
  • 2008 - Ireland Trophy
  • 2008 - ACC Atlantic Division Champions
  • Men's Soccer:
  • 2007 - ACC Regular Season Champions
  • 2007 - ACC Tournament Champions
  • Women's Soccer:
  • 2006 - Sweet Sixteen
  • 2008 - Sweet Sixteen
  • Women's Hockey:
  • 2007 - Beanpot Champions
  • 2007 - Frozen Four
  • 2009 - Beanpot Champions
  • Men's Hockey:
  • 2007 - Hockey East Tournament Champions
  • 2007 - Frozen Four
  • 2007 - Mariucci Classic Champions
  • 2008 - Beanpot Champions
  • 2008 - Hockey East Tournament Champions
  • 2008 - Frozen Four
  • 2008 - National Champions

Games I Attended in '07-'08

  • Overall: 51-30-11 + 12 non BC + spring football = 105 games
  • Home: 40-25-6 + spring game
  • Away: 4-5-5
  • Neutral: 7-0
  • Non-BC NCAA Games: 12
  • Men's Hockey: 13-6-5
  • Women's BBall: 8-2
  • Football: 6-1 + spring game
  • Baseball: 5-1
  • Softball: 4-0
  • Men's BBall: 6-4
  • Women's Hockey: 8-11-5
  • Men's Soccer: 1-2-1
  • Field Hockey: 0-1
  • Women's Soccer: 0-1

Stadiums/Fields Seen 07-08

  • Total: 20
  • Conte Forum [BC] - (49)
  • Alumni Stadium [BC] - (8)
  • TD Banknorth Garden - (7)
  • Shea Field, Baseball [BC] - (6)
  • Newton Soccer Field [BC] - (6)
  • Walter Brown Arena [BU] - (4)
  • Shea Field, Softball [BC] - (4)
  • Matthews Arena [NU] - (3)
  • DCU Center [Worcester] - (3)
  • Schneider Arena [PC] - (2)
  • Ridder Arena [Minnesota] - (2)
  • UConn Hockey Arena [Conn] - (2)
  • Agganis Arena [BU] - (2)
  • Tsongas Arena [UML] - (1)
  • Whittemore Center [UNH] - (1)
  • Mariucci Arena [Minnesota] - (1)
  • Bright Arena [Harvard] - (1)
  • Harvard Stadium [Harvard] - (1)
  • Newton Field Hockey [BC] - (1)
  • Houston Field House [RPI] - (1)

Games I attended in 06-07

  • OVERALL 67-27-3 = 97 games
  • Football 6-0
  • M Hockey 17-6-1
  • M Basketball 14-4
  • W Hockey 13-6-2
  • W Basketball 6-3
  • Softball 3-1
  • W Soccer 3-1
  • M Soccer 3-1
  • Baseball 2-4
  • W Lax 0-1

Best Moments

  • Men's Hockey, 4/12/08 - National Champs.
  • Football, 10/26/07 - BC rallies with two touchdowns in the last 2:11 to win at Virginia Tech and maintain their #2 ranking. Students spill out of the dorms and have an impromptu celebration all over campus. What a night. WOW.
  • Men's Hockey, 3/30/08 - BC scores 3 goals in 1:58 to come from an 0-2 deficit to a 3-2 lead late in the 2nd against Miami in the NCAA regional final.
  • Men's Hockey, 3/30/08 - Joe Whitney's ridiculous diving goal sends BC to the Frozen Four, beating Miami 4-3 in OT.
  • Men's Hockey, 3/21/08 - Benn Ferriero's 3OT goal caps a comeback against UNH in the Hockey East semifinals at the Garden.
  • Men's Hockey, 2/11/08 - Nick Petrecki's OT goal wins the Beanpot for BC!
  • Football, 9/1/07 - BC scores a touchdown to tie the game at 21 right before half time against Wake. BC wins 38-28
  • Men's Hockey, 11/30/07 - BU goalie Karson Gillespie gets sent to the box by Benedetto for a swan dive... piss-your-pants laughter follows
  • Men's Hockey, 3/15/08 - Nate Gerbe's amazing penalty shot goal makes it 4-0 BC over PC in Game 2 of the HE QFs
  • Men's Hockey, 2/4/08 - Gerbe slays BU in overtime
  • Men's Hockey, 3/22/08 - BC cruises to another Hockey East title, beating UVM 4-0
  • Men's Hockey, 3/29/08 - BC gets past the Gophers 5-2 in the NCAA tournament.
  • Men's Hockey, 3/15/08 - BC sweeps the Friars with a pair of 5-1 wins in the HE QFs to advance to the TD Banknorth Garden.
  • Women's Hockey, 2/29/08 - Eagles top PC 4-2 in the season's penultimate game to keep their playoff hopes alive. Stack with the ENG to ice it with 4 seconds left.
  • Women's Hockey, 1/4/07 - BC kills off a 5-on-3, Lindsay Wright aka CANADA scores a sick goal, and BC upsets #4 SLU 5-2
  • Women's Basketball, 1/6/07 - BC stuns NC State with a thrilling 1 point come-from-behind victory
  • Men's Soccer, 11/9/07 - BC clinches ACC reg. season title with a win at home against VT.
  • Women's Hockey, 01/12/08 - MN native Allie Thunstrom's goal with 1:30 to go gives BC a tie @ #4 Minnesota
  • Men's Hockey, 3/14/08 - BC blitzes Providence early and often en route to 5-1 win in Game 1 of HE QFs at BC
  • Men's Basketball, 12/23/07 - Tyrese Rice knocks down a floater with less than 5 seconds to play to give BC the 57-55 win over Northeastern.
  • Men's Hockey, 1/19/08 - Carl Sneep's goal in the 3rd ties BU 2-2; pandemonium in the student section
  • Football, 11/24/07 - BC finally snaps the long losing streak against the U.
  • Women's Hockey, 2/10/08 - BC's Stack scores in the 2nd to tie UNH 1-1. We lost, but that was a great moment.
  • Women's Basketball, 12/31/07 - Picco nails back to back three pointers as BC wins a thriller against NU
  • Baseball, 5/13/08 - BC rallies from big early deficit to beat UConn.
  • Softball, 3/26/08 - Fence Girl crashes into the fence, Thunstrom scores winning run, BC downs HC 4-3
  • Women's Hockey, 11/29/07 - A clutch goal with under a minute remaining by Stack gives BC a much needed point @ UConn
  • Women's Hockey, 3/15/08 - UNH tops St. Lawrence 3-2 in OT to give Hockey East a representative in the Frozen Four.
  • Men's Hockey, 11/30/07 - BC explodes for a 3-0 1st period lead en route to a 6-2 win over BU
  • Football, 10/7/07 - BC scores 31 points in the 2nd quarter against Bowling Green and rolls to 55-24 win - up to #4 in the country!